How Financial Beliefs Shape Your Well-Being
Understanding Your Money Story – How Financial Beliefs Shape Your Well-Being
Our relationship with money is deeply personal—shaped by our upbringing, lived experiences, and the world around us. Yet, financial literacy is rarely taught in school, and unlike "the talk" about puberty or relationships, there is no universal conversation parents have with their teens about money. As a result, many of us enter adulthood "winging it," never having had structured discussions about budgeting, credit card debt, student loans, or the importance of saving.
We learn about the world by observing those closest to us, and when it comes to money, our parents are often our first financial role models. We take in how they manage financial stress, whether work impacts our family's stability, and how lifestyle shifts occur during different financial seasons. We also absorb messages from peers, extended family, and society, forming financial beliefs that can last a lifetime.
Over time, these learned experiences solidify into a set of financial beliefs—what financial psychologist Brad Klontz refers to as our money story in Mind Over Money.
A money story is the deeply ingrained set of beliefs and narratives we hold about money, shaped by our personal history, upbringing, and cultural influences.
I expand this definition to include our accumulated experiences with money, work, education, and relationships. These beliefs form an internal “script” that guides our financial thoughts and behaviors, often without us realizing it. Recognizing your money story can provide insight into your financial behaviors.
Below are a few common work and money personas, but a liitle disclaimer first. These are generalizations based on common behavioral and emotional responses to money. It is not meant to pathologize any one type of persona over another. In fact, there are benefits to each of these personas (which contributes to why we gravitate to them).
The Avoider
Avoiders tend to shy away from dealing with finances directly. This can look like avoiding checking bank balances or credit card activity, ignoring bills until the last minute (resulting in late fees), or steering clear of conversations about money at work—especially salary negotiations. They may associate money with stress, shame, or discomfort based on past experiences, and some even reject money entirely by giving it away or overspending to avoid confronting their financial reality.
The Spender
Spenders find satisfaction in spending money—whether on themselves or others. They may use spending to maintain relationships, express self-worth, or as proof that they have moved beyond past financial hardship. For some, spending can feel empowering ("I deserve this"), while for others, it can be a form of escapism. And then, of course, there’s the classic YOLO mentality (do the kids still say that?). The key takeaway is that the act of spending itself is the focus, regardless of what is being purchased.
The Admirer
The money admirer equates self-worth with net worth. They feel most content when they have money at their disposal and may believe financial success solves all problems. Their value as a person can feel tied to their financial status, leading to a hyper-focus on wealth accumulation or material possessions—even when it conflicts with their deeper values or financial reality.
The Prepper
The prepper sees money as something to be saved, not spent. They may struggle to spend on both needs and wants, often due to a fear-based relationship with money rooted in financial trauma or a scarcity mindset. They believe financial security is never guaranteed, and as a result, they may over-save to the point of financial rigidity—sometimes at the expense of enjoying life.
(Adapted from The Financial Anxiety Solution by Lindsay Bryan-Podvin, Mind Over Money by Brad Klontz & Ted Klontz, and Money Harmony by Olivia Mellan.)
Seeking Support for Financial Well-Being
If you find yourself feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or stuck in unhelpful financial patterns, know that you are not alone.
Through counseling, you can:
✔ Identify the financial beliefs shaping your behaviors
✔ Develop practical coping strategies for financial anxiety
✔ Build confidence in managing money with greater clarity and intention
Your financial well-being is an essential part of your overall mental health. If money stress is weighing on you, therapy can help untangle the emotions behind your financial behaviors and create a healthier, more sustainable relationship with money.
Contact me at heather@hslcounseling.com or fill out the contact form for more information!